Here's My Theory Of The Non Prosecution Four

Now that I've taken as good a look as can be had at the four Epstein assistants listed in the 2008 non prosecution agreement, Sarah Kellen, Nadia Marcinkova, Adriana Ross, and Lesley Groff, the one thing that strikes me is that they had little in common. One was a pilot, one came from an affluent hedge fund background, while two were groomed to be Epstein confidantes from their teens. About the only thing they all did was, at least now and then, schedule nymphets for massages with Epstein. However, not all seem to have participated in those massages.

Here's my biggest question: how many $200,000 a year personal assistants does it take to schedule Jennifer for 11:00 if Heather can't make it? How many massages can a 55 year old guy handle in a day? Even at Epstein's most priapic, a dozen might be the upper limit, but hey, let's say it's 20. And it wasn't just these four who did the scheduling. Maxwell herself is alleged to have done it, and there were apparently others, which is suggested as well in the non prosecution agreement.

Nobody seems to have asked this question. Half a dozen $200,000 personal assistants with side benefits like full time nannies, fancy cars, paid hairdressers, expensive takeout, and paid education? Just to schedule Bambi if Debbie can't make it? That money must have been for something else.

Actually, I know a little about something else. I worked for three years during the Enron era for another company whose CEO pled guilty to securities fraud and spent 12 years in federal prison. It wasn't a total Ponzi scheme, but it had Ponzi elements: if revenues weren't what was expected in a given month, accounting just kept extending the days in the month until revenues added up to what they needed. The company had been operating that way from its founding.

I thought that place was strange from the start, though I knew nothing about the cooked books. The departments where I worked were absurdly overstaffed, with people who did absolutely nothing even by normal corporate standards. The products they sold had extremely poor reputations in the industry. It was generally understood -- and I was told this straight out more than once -- that it would cost too much to fix bugs that were reported, and if customers pressed field reps like me about it, we were to smile and mumble something about how we were sure they were working on it.

The bottom line was that it was impossible to work there and be conscientious. This worked out for a certain number of employees; the others were eventually edged out, as I was. But the key issue was that the company needed a certain number of people who seemed to be doing, their jubs to keep up appearances but couldn't possibly if they were in fact conscientious. Those were either really stupid or really corrupt. (My boss for much of that time was one of the corrupt. I remember her shriekiing to a colleague, "You know what? I made quota last month! Can you believe it?" In retrospect, it showed she was in on the frammis.)

Epstein's multiple personal assistants with little to do but schedule nymphets from day to day strike me as a symptom. One was a pilot, but I would guess she didn't do much flying and didn't do much else. Another was a hedge fund lady, but I would guess she didn't do much hedge funding and didn't do much else. All these assistants were being paid to look pretty and not ask questions, and unless they were into fun and games with the nymhpets, that was it.

In terms of the non prosecution agreement, they were basically decoys. There had to be people who worked for Epstein who knew what was really going on -- that is, other than Maxwell -- but so far, nobody has talked to them.

That's one thing that's hinky about the whole trial.