Help Me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, You're My Only Hope?

Let's look at the conventional media narrative here: Vladimir Putin, AKA Darth Vader, is threatening Planet Ukraine, part of the Rebel Alliance, with the Death Star. Princess Leia, AKA Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, has sent an urgent message to Obi-Wan Kenobi, AKA President Brandon, begging for his help against the Empire. The suspense now, although not canonical to the original Hollywood version, is whether Obi-Wan, 79 years old, is either too senile or too irresoulute to respond.

Got it? Except that even an updated version of the Star Wars salvation history isn't going to explain how things are actually turning out. President Zelensky, AKA Princess Leia, appears not to be on the same page with Obi-Wan at all:

Ukraine’s National Security and Defense Council Secretary Oleksiy Danilov told reporters on Tuesday that Kyiv considers – and intelligence reports from the West agree – that “internal destabilization” caused by panic over a potential further Russian invasion is “the number one issue,” not any potential invasion.

With this “destabilization” – leading to generalized panic and the collapse of the national currency, the hryvnia – “the Russians have nothing to do here,” Danilov asserted, according to state outlet Ukrinform.

The remarks follow multiple national addresses from Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky urging Ukrainians to disregard agitated statements from the administration of President Joe Biden and its allies predicting an imminent Russian invasion deeper into Ukraine than Moscow already is.

In other words, the real problem isn't Darth Vader, the problem is Obi-Wan himself. This is puzzling. How can the whole Star Wars narrative resolve itself otherwise? Is Obi-Wan misinterpreting Princess Leia's message? Is Princess Leia's message some kind of false flag meant to further Obi-Wan's secret agenda? But there are other signals from elsewhere in the Rebel Alliance, AKA the European Union, that something's hinky:

The European Union will not follow the US move to evacuate diplomatic staff and families, largely because the US hasn’t explained why we’re doing it. “We don’t have to dramatize,” EU foreign policy minister Josep Borrell told the press today as European nations met to determine their path forward in confronting Russia over the crisis in Ukraine.

Borrell told reporters that Antony Blinken will brief the EU later, but at least as of this morning, they don’t see any threat to diplomatic facilities or staff.

The Ukrainians vehemently agree with Borrell. Volodymyr Zelensky has already objected to the withdrawal of personnel and staff from the Kyiv embassy, calling it an “overreaction.”

In other words, Darth Vader is less of a threat to Planet Ukraine than President Obi-Wan himself, who is actually using a giant kabuki to destabilize Ukraine. Er, why would President Obi-Wan conceivably want to do this to poor Planet Ukraine, part of the Rebel Alliance? A possible answer:

Former Trump aide Sam Nunberg believes that President Joe Biden essentially gave Vladimir Putin the green light to invade Ukraine because the Ukrainian energy company Burisma stopped bribing him after the 2016 election of former President Donald Trump.

Speaking with politics editor Matthew Boyle on Breitbart News Saturday, Nunberg expanded on a tweet he posted Friday suggesting that Biden abandoned Ukraine due to Hunter Biden’s corruption.

But Darth Vader didn't even need a green light to destroy Planet Ukraine with the Death Star. All Vader had to do was maneuver the Death Star in ambiguous ways, which is what Putin is doing with troops on the Ukraine border. Then President Obi-Wan can use the situation to destablilize Ukraine by making it plain that if Putin does invade, Ukraine can simply expect a repeat of Kabul, with US civilians and embassy staff already ordered out prematurely. President Brandon's mental fog and uncertainty aren't a bug in this case, they're a feature. Interesting that Europeans beyond Ukraine seem to be thinking the same.

Maybe if President Zelensky were to rethink putting Hunter back on the Burisima board, things could change? Just sayin'.

What about this morning's other great puzzle, Speaker Pelosi's decision to run for re-election to the House?

With that in mind, I’m not at all convinced Pelosi will actually serve out another two-year term. It seems perfectly possible to me that if and when Democrats get blown out in November, she’ll change her mind. As I’ve said before though, to do so before the midterm vote would be catastrophic, and she knows it.

. . . Still, politics aside, there’s something deeply disturbing about an 81-year-old politician refusing to hand over power like this. Blame it on people living longer than they used to or something else entirely, but the American government has been turned into a quasi-oligarchy, where decrepit geriatrics rule the roost, enriching themselves, and serving until they kick the bucket.

I think the pseudonymous Bonchie is getting closer here. Another election for Pelosi, another round of baksheesh. She'll cross the post-November bridge when she comes to it. For Joe, it's payback to Planet Ukraine, which stopped the baksheesh in 2016. Well, son of a bitch.

Just sayin'. All those Europeans are pretty darn realistic, if you ask me.