More Lindsay Clancy

In yesterday's post, after not really following the Lindsay Clancy trial, I reported the results of maybe an hour's web search, and I came up with two data points that nobody else seems to have noticed:

1. Clancy had been on maternity leave for 18 months following the birth of her daughter. Her psychiatric symptoms emerged at precisely the time this leave was scheduled to end.
2. The one issue that kept resurfacing over the chaotic course of her psychiatric treatment that fall before the murders was her addiction to Ativan.

The thing that also struck me even before I started more detailed research was that Clancy was an RN and presumably knew the medical system inside out. So I began to look for potential explanations that tied these factors together, and I found a reddit thread:

How did Lindsay get addicted to benzodiazepines?

I’ve followed this case since the beginning and since I started reading this sub about a year ago I’ve had some of my questions answered about Lindsay’s psychiatric history.

What I’m still confused about is her benzodiazepine use. By the time of the murders she was on a taper. However, her narrative in the lawsuit doesn’t indicate any use of benzodiazepines outside of the four month period preceding the murders. Given Patrick’s comments to his friends in the six weeks before, she was already addicted by that time. So she became severely addicted to benzodiazepines in less than twelve weeks??

Perhaps that’s possible but my theory as someone who has had access to benzodiazepines (Valium) for more than a decade through a carefully managed treatment plan by my psychiatrist, she got her initial prescription post pregnancy either from her primary doctor or OB/GYN. Those are short term scripts especially in Boston. I lived there for ten years. Eventually those providers want to switch management of benzodiazepines to mental health professionals. This is where her anxiety and need for control spiked. Perhaps she realized that in order to have access to benzodiazepines the way she thought she needed them that she would actually need to become a long term psychiatric patient like me and like the patients she looked down on at McLean when all she wanted was easy access without the oversight.

She didn’t want the monitoring that comes with benzodiazepines and she certainly wasn’t prepared for the long haul as demonstrated by her frankly manic doctor shopping.

For the record, I do not believe she was psychotic at the time of the murders. She was in a full blown narcissistic rage.

As someone who's experienced narcissistic rage up close and personal, I said, "Aha!" Another commenter weighed in:

I’m not a doctor or a psychiatrist so this is in no way medical advice just my perspective from someone who has a family member who has been addicted to Ativan for decades. We have gone to many family sessions to help deal with this and I have learned information along the way.

Physical dependence and active addiction with benzodiazepines are different. My mom became physically dependent on Ativan within honestly a month. When she would miss a day of taking it she would become ill and her anxiety would become unbearable so she would keep taking it. It’s hard to pinpoint when her addiction started because she was really secretive and she started buying it off the street in higher doses as her doctor started really restricting her prescriptions. She started being unable to sleep without large doses and started needing it every few hours. It’s been awful and has ultimately ruined our relationship.

This all relates to Lindsay because from the limited information shared it seems like she was facing similar issues with her benzo use. She needed it to sleep and likely experienced heightened anxiety without it. Being a nurse I suspect she knew what was happening and was scared for the future when she would inevitably get cut off.

I agree with you - I have a hard time believing she was in psychosis when she did this. It was too well planned. She knew what she was doing.

Another comment:

I have the same question. It seems like a topic where more info is needed. Benzodiazepines are very addictive, but it didn’t seem like she’d been on them that long and it seemed like one of the first issues Patrick had mentioned to his friends. While id say most docs are very conservative with benzo subscriptions, there are some who are very liberal with the amount they prescribe, but the way it is framed and the time frame where it is mentioned makes me wonder if she was getting them without prescription or if she had been on them for a much longer time. Not sure. I’ve been prescribed them a couple of times throughout my life during rough periods and I’ve never had a doc give me enough to cause a physical dependence. Like, they’d give a prescription with 10-20 pills with only one refill if that. & it’s been basically impossible to get them even with a diagnosis of GAD. I’m always shocked hearing when ppl actually manage to get them prescribed & especially when it’s a quantity high enough to cause dependence.

All these commenters seem to have had experience with the potential addictive properties of benzos, as well as quite a bit of insight. Lindsay's husband in particular seems to have had neither, and in fact I get the impression Lindsay had beaten that poor uy into submission well before her psychatric symptoms showed up -- narcissistic rage is what it is. The commenters raise worthwhile questions:

• Insomnia is a symptom of benzo withdrawal. Lindsay appears to have complained about insomnia throughout her period of psychatric difficulties in the fall.
• Precisely when and how did she become addicted to benzos? What was her medical history before the start of her serious symptoms that fall?
• What sort of discussions took place between Lindsay and her husband, Patrick, about her returning to work following maternity leave? Was this financially necessary? If so, was Lindsay on board with going back to work, or was the whole crazy routine an attempt to get out of going back to work?
• Were the murders an ultimate act of revenge for having to go back to work, having to kick the addiction, or some combination?

These are avenues the prosecution just doesn't seem to have pursued. Maybe they might consider them for a retrial. It seems as if the prosecution never followed up on the potential addiction issue, when it started, and how her symptoms related either to avoiding going back to work or kicking the drugs. A separate question is the "my way or the highway" femino-narcissism of the pro-acquittal jurors like Paula Develin, who somehow seem to see Lindsay as not just a sympathetic figure but a positive role model. Yes indeed, there are people like that.